By Julia Curd, Sid Bhushan, Adena Stein, and Natasha Terekhova
Aries (March 20 - April 19) - This winter, you will find a chicken in your math classroom. You decide to pet the chicken, and it grows a unicorn horn! You name it chicka-corn, and it becomes famous. One day, when you and the chicka-corn are getting ready to go on Fox News, he is made into a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. You are very sad, and become a hermit for life.
Taurus (April 20 - May 19) - Next Thursday, you will be transported back in time and become a princess. While you are ruling the country, you find out that it is raining cats and dogs. You take one of the dogs back to your palace, and it suddenly transports you back to modern times. It is October 31, Halloween, so you are saved the embarrassment of being dressed like a princess.
Gemini (May 20 - June 20) - On your next birthday, you will be transported to Barbie Land. There you find Ken who takes you to his beach house and you fall in love with him. Later on, Barbie finds out about this, and she starts throwing chocolate cream pies at you. The chocolate takes you to Chocolate Land, and there you live happily ever after.
Cancer (June 21 - July 21) - One day, you come back from school and find a dragon sleeping in your bed. Your room has been scorched, and you are very angry. You find a sock that hasn’t been scorched, and throw it at the dragon. When the sock hits the dragon, the dragon becomes a giant green tic-tac. Slowly but surely, you eat the tic-tac, and are never hungry again.
Leo (July 22 - Aug. 22) - Once upon a time, in a land far far away, you find a pair of glasses. You put on the glasses. The End.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 21) - During SSR, someone throws a book at you. It hits you in the head, and you become invisible! You use this magical power to sneak up on teachers and scare them by dumping soda over their heads. Unfortunately, the middle school history teacher Mr. Holmquist busts you. He gets super mad and never showers you in magical rainbows again.
Libra (Sept. 22 - Oct. 22) - Yesterday, you met Peter Pan. Tinkerbell and Captain Hook didn’t like you, so you were challenged to a duel. You fought with magic toothpicks which explode when they touch the opponent. You get cornered and exploded very quickly, and find yourself in Candy Land. You live happily ever after in Candy Land.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21) - In 4 days, you meet a Kiwi Bird. The Kiwi Bird offers you pineapples, but you want kiwis. You demand kiwis, and the bird refuses. Then, he disappears. You are craving kiwi, so you go to the store and find that they are out of kiwis. You are outraged and complain. The store disappears, and you give up. You never eat kiwis again.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) - In 7 years, an oracle will come to your house and tell you your future, which involves gummy bears and lollipops. You are very excited about this, and you rush to the candy store to go buy gummy bears and lollipops, and the oracle appears again, telling you that you have ruined your future. You then vanish into thin air and are never seen again.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) - Next month, a huge tornado comes and destroys your city. You come outside and discover a world filled with marshmallow-eating-spiders. You are scared of spiders, and you run screaming down a yellow brick road, and find a city made of garnet. You live there happily ever after. You meet lots of strange things there, including a hippogriff, a phoenix, and Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17) - On St. Valentine's Day, you meet the love of your life, who just so happens to be a chocolate bar, but not just any chocolate bar, a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Later in the day, you meet a pixie stick and fall in love with it, forgetting about the chocolate bar. It gets super mad and turns into chocolate Hulk. You get smashed by it and live a sad, broken life afterwards.
Pisces (Feb. 18 - March 19) - Tomorrow morning, you will wake up and find a chicken on your face. It has a strange marking on it that you soon realize that it is the mark of Lord Candy Corn! You bow down and it takes you to his palace. The castle is being attacked by Lord Licorice’s army! You harness the power of one of the most sugary candies, Candy Corn, and banish Lord Licorice forever!
Recipe of the Month
By Anna Clayborn
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies
The perfect combination of pumpkin pie and chocolate!
History of Halloween
By Julea Trank-Greene
Halloween is known as a kid-friendly holiday with trick or treating, parties, and parades, but there is a lot more history behind the wonderful holiday of Halloween.
Halloween goes back two thousand years ago when Halloween wasn’t even called Halloween, it was an ancient Celtic festival called Samhain [sah-win], celebrated on November 1st. This day resembled the end of summer and the harvest and the start of the cold winter, a time that was associated with human death. On the night before Samhain, October 31st, it was believed that the ghost raised from the dead. People would put wine and food on their porches to keep the ghosts away on the night of Samhain. They would also dress as ghosts when exiting their homes, so they would be mistaken as ghosts.
Then the Christian Church turned Samhain into All Saints Day, or All Hallows. The night before All Hallows became All Hallows’ Eve, which was later shortened to Halloween. On All Souls Day people would beg for pastries known as Soul Cakes. In return they would pray for people’s dead relatives, this was known as souling. In the Halloween tradition of guiding, young children would dress up and would either sing, recite poetry, or tell jokes in return of wine, food, money, and other offerings.
In 19th century America, Irish and Scottish immigrants revived these old traditions, which had the result of what we know now of trick or treating. People were much more interested in the tricks instead of the treats, but until 1950’s, Halloween then took its current family-friendly, kid centered form.
This Month in History
By Mason Nieberger
October 5, 1813 - Shawnee Indian Chief Tecumseh was defeated and killed during the War of 1812 in the Battle of the Thames in Ontario. Regarded as one of the greatest American Indians, he was a powerful orator who defended his people against white settlement.
October 6, 1981 - Egyptian President Anwar Sadat (1918-1981) was assassinated in Cairo by Muslim fundamentalists while watching a military parade. He had shared the 1978 Nobel Peace Prize with Menachem Begin of Israel. He had signed an American-sponsored peace accord with Israel, but had been denounced by other Arab leaders.
October 7, 1765 - The Stamp Act Congress convened in New York City with representatives from nine colonies meeting in protest to the British Stamp Act which imposed the first direct tax by the British Crown upon the American colonies.
October 8, 1998 - The U.S. House of Representatives voted 258-176 to approve a resolution launching an impeachment inquiry of President Bill Clinton. It was only the third time in U.S. history the House launched a formal impeachment inquiry of a sitting president. (The other two: Andrew Johnson and Richard Nixon).
October 9, 1962 - Uganda achieved independence after nearly 70 years of British rule.
October 10, 1954 - Ho Chi Minh entered Hanoi, Vietnam, after the withdrawal of French troops, in accordance with armistice terms ending the seven-year struggle between Communist Vietnamese and the French.
October 11, 1939 - Albert Einstein warned President Franklin D. Roosevelt that his theories could lead to Nazi Germany's development of an atomic bomb. Einstein suggested the U.S. develop its own bomb. This resulted in the top secret "Manhattan Project."
October 12, 1492 - After a 33-day voyage, Christopher Columbus made his first landfall in the New World in the Bahamas. He named the first land sighted as El Salvador, claiming it in the name of the Spanish Crown. Columbus was seeking a western sea route from Europe to Asia and believed he had found an island of the Indies. He thus called the first island natives he met, 'Indians.'
October 13, 1884 - Greenwich was established as the universal time from which standard times throughout the world are calculated.
October 14, 1964 - Civil Rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., became the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. He donated the $54,000 in prize money to the Civil Rights movement.
October 15, 1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte arrived on the Island of St. Helena beginning a British-imposed exile following his defeat at the Battle of Waterloo.
October 16, 1793 - Queen Marie Antoinette was beheaded during the Reign of Terror following the French Revolution. She was the wife of King Louis XVI and had become the symbol of the people's hatred for the old regime due to her extravagance and frivolity. According to legend, she responded, "Let them eat cake," when told poor people had no bread, but there is no proof of her actually saying that.
October 17, 1777 - During the American Revolutionary War, British General John Burgoyne and his entire army of 5,700 men surrendered to American General Horatio Gates after the Battle of Saratoga, the first big American victory.
October 19, 1960 - The U.S. embargo of Cuba began as the State Department prohibited shipment of all goods except medicine and food.
By Sid Bhushan and Natasha Terekhova
By Natasha Terekhova and Sid Bhushan
November 16: Have a Party with Your Bear Day
November 17: Homemade Bread Day
November 18: Occult Day
November 19: Have a Bad Day Day
November 20: Name your PC Day
November 21: World Hello Day
November 22: Go For A Ride Day
November 23: Fibonacci Day
November 24: Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
November 25: Shopping Reminder Day
November 26: Cake Day
November 27: Buy Nothing Day
November 28: French Toast Day
November 29: Square Dancing Day
November 30: Stay Home Because You’re Well Day
For Comments, Corrections, and Story Ideas, Please Email
Editor-in-Chief: Anna Clayborn
Staff Adviser: Lisa Wilkins
Layout Editor: Julia Curd
Assignments Editor: Ethan Hughes
Staff Reporters: Chelsea Bandi, Julea Trank-Greene, Anjana Mallya, Mason Nieberger, Natasha Terekhova, Adena Stein, Avery LeBlanc, Samrawit Dishon, Siddhartha Bhushan, Maedee Trank-Greene